"If we can find a reason for our struggles then we can find acceptance and purpose."

A section from my letter of intent for USC MSW program:

The inclusion of faith and spirituality by a practitioner is a fundamental proponent to fully engaging with one's client. It is our job to present ourselves as students and provide the support for our clients to be the leaders of their own experiences. It is to be known that a client’s faith, religious beliefs and spirituality are the roots upon which they exist. As a social worker it is imperative that we recognize and understand the importance of one's faith in order to provide a tailored level of care and create an atmosphere of comfort and acceptance for our clients. My personal sexual identity is one that roots me to the LGBTQ+ community. We are a community of underserved, unjustly treated people that within this year has been fighting for equality in healthcare, housing and discriminatory laws. I am proud to identify as pansexual but also scared to have roots in a community where Mental Health America states:

LGBTQ+ teens are six times more likely to experience symptoms of depression. LGBTQ+ youth are more than twice as likely to feel suicidal and over four times as likely to attempt suicide. Forty-eight percent of transgender adults report that they have considered suicide in the last year. And more than half of all survey respondents reported that they have faced cases of providers denying care, using harsh language, or blaming the patient’s sexual orientation or gender identity as the cause for an illness.

This community continues to grow, including now, 4.5% of the US population, while discrimination is rampant and mental health is negatively affected. My personal connection to this community has helped support my desire to become a social worker. My career goal is to provide psychotherapy within the LGBTQ+ and ally community. I would like to create a holistic wellness center where youth, just as they are, can feel safely supported and accepted.

I preach and lead with transparency as a provider. I believe that one of the most important things I can instill in each patient is hope. I want them to see a strong role model who has faced adversity and now wants to give back. One of the most powerful lessons I have learned is that if we can find a reason for our struggles then we can find acceptance and purpose. For the greater part of 2019 I was experiencing daily panic attacks. I was depressed, unable to leave my home and became codependent on my partner to feel safe and in control. I was constantly battling my own brain, throwing me into panic attack after panic attack, literally draining the breath from my desire for existence. I felt hopeless. Help arrived in the form of an LCSW named Jennifer and a diagnosis that supported my understanding of what I had been living through everyday for the last 6 months. I was so out of touch with myself that my mind’s only way of getting my attention was to throw me into severe panic, I could no longer avoid listening to myself, I could no longer ignore the feelings I had been repressing. During this time my panic became more manageable and I began allowing myself to listen, here is where I discovered my sexuality while beginning to take back control. I learned that life is unpredictable, it is our ability to manage our response that provides relief during difficult, transitional phases. I took with me and give to others the most influential tool I learned from Jennifer regarding my battle with panic:

Picture panic like an uncomfortable stranger coming your way on a sidewalk. You can walk to the other side of the road but that will be reinforcing your fear. You can stay on your path, acknowledging the uncomfortable person while willing yourself to walk by them - unwilling to change your path because someone else is making it more challenging for you to pass.

To this day I can acknowledge the panic, as my throat begins to close, as an uncomfortable feeling, one I can give momentary energy towards but not let control the path I am walking. I want and feel I can be someone’s Jennifer. This woman saved my life.